Diary of a Coffee Skeptic

The other day I was daydreaming in my apartment. The twinkling Christmas lights that I have strung about my room always put me in fantastic, pensive moods. The start of September brought Autumn to mind [as if I don't think about it enough already]. I was wearing a long sleeve shirt and truly convinced myself that it was cold outside. It was then that I developed the yearly craving for

Cinnamon, pumpkin, and caramel, oh my!

What to do, what to do . . .
A voice in the back of my mind charmingly whispered "coffee."

"Ooh good idea" I thought. "Wait, what? Did I really just say YES to coffee?"

"A Pumpkin Spice Latte will fix you up nicely"

"But I hate coffee. Coffee tastes like chalk!"

"Don't start quoting Patty Mayonnaise! You're twenty years old, attend college, and go countless hours without sleep quite often. You need to attempt to acquire the taste. Plus, for 'Pumpkin Spice' you can get over the 'latte' part"

"Yeah, you're I'm right. I guess it's time"

Time for what? To stop talking to myself, yeah, but also to pull one of my maneuvers. . . The kind where I force myself to do something [in this case drink something] until I fall in love with it. Past examples include Dr. Pepper, bananas, and Cheerwine [which may or may not still be a work in progress].

- - - Others have tried to convert me to a coffee-drinker in the past, but if they knew me at all then they would have realized that their efforts were no good. I am stubborn and I do things when I want to do them.

 So if you're reading this and you once have tried to make me like coffee, then I would just like you to refer back to the "Potty Training Complex" when contemplating mentioning any comments in my direction that even slightly resemble the following: "I told you that you'd like it." , "Hey you finally like coffee!" , "I tried to tell you what you've been missing out on!" AKA actually saying "I told you so..."  - - -

Just like with sushi, I need to try a variety of things to discover what I like and dislike! Follow me while I venture out in search of my favorite tasse de café, or at least for now the one that makes me cringe the least. Don't judge, though I know you will, but I'm using Starbucks as my starting point. I trust that whatever they make will be a uniform representation of whatever I order. Once I begin to figure out what I actually enjoy, then I will search for other places who possibly make it better. I can't help that I'm a n00b!

Diary of a Coffee Skeptic will be a snapshot of my brain on coffee. I'll talk about what new things I'm trying, how I feel about each, etc. Again, this 'series' will be a judgement free zone as I plan for it to be very raw. Raw in the sense of putting my real thoughts on paper computer screen. Clearly my n00biness makes me quite uneasy!

Adventure Coffee is out there!

Kangaroos, Beer and Hermione Granger

I chuckled while reading this DRAFT. 

Originally written November 27th, 2012 at that local coffee shop.

Quote
I just need to write. Write write write. My body is quivering from locked up emotions and words I need to express. The sun is setting to my left. The smell of coffee & winter spices fills the air. Quiet typing is all around the room. Sip. We haven't bought anything. Sitting over here, 'hiding' and discussing the finer things in life... like kangaroos, beer, and hermione granger.

Yes, I have quite the to-do list, but this place inspires creativity. . . not boring work.
If i could just hold off a little longer on this creative spirit trying to escape my body, then i could get some work done . . .

talking to myself, it seems like. its ok though. this is helping. off to learn about mad cow...
dossen hoodeed man.
Unquote

Very Best Chap

Yet another DRAFT. Originally written November 16th, 2012.
I'll use this post to say how much I miss my friend Alette! She commissioned into the Air Force and moved out west with her boyfriend [who I also miss]. I hope all is well with them.

I'm going to miss doing things like this with her . . .

Quote

Blimey! 

Me & my very best chap enjoying a bloody good cuppa coffee.

We haven't done a thing in over a fortnight.

Unquote

 

I remember this was one of the first nights we went to this local coffee shop together. We sat on our computers and spoke with British accents and looked up slang [which explains the wording of the post]. She was probably being productive, but I'm pretty sure I was blogging.

Bienvenue 2013,

Eight months later and I decided to open up random unfinished draft. I wish I had finished and posted this back in January, but it was a surprise opening it up today.

Quote
   January 1st, 2013. I hear the words bouncing around my brain as I type. Twenty twelve has gone by fast and with many many twists and turns. I've decided to write two letters today.

Dear 2012,

Words words words

Sjaashgjasfj,

Brittany

Dear 2013,

I walk into you with confidence and dreams. Having grown tired and irritated of being treated like a child by many of my surrounding relationships, I will use you as my excuse to finally step up. That way it's not so out of the blue, this year will show others what I am actually capable of . . . stopping the doubt and the underestimations.

Nobody will know you're great unless you show them

I'll stop doubting myself and begin to believe in me.

Blabbity Blah,    

Brittany    
Unquote

Though I'm still unsure what words I have for 2012, I find my letter to 2013 very pleasant. I'm happy to report that the content of the letter is positively reigning true more and more each day. I no longer underestimate myself as I did before. I've been taking chances and standing my ground.

Happy New Year Me

Brief Currently Crushing

Can we all just oogle this watch for a moment?

It will be mine.

That is all.

I Knew Better

I'm going to briefly share three stories about trust.
They will most likely make no sense to you.

The first will explain why I hate sharing. 

The second will explain why I hate group projects. 

The third will recount the time that I tried to fix these things . . . when I shouldn't have.

Sporty Spice

Lightening Press break room. Some girl wants to play with my barbies.
Mommy says I have to share.
Me: "Fine." Give her David Beckham's wife.
Girl: "Off with her head."
Doll breaks. I cry. WHAT THE HECK I'M NEVER SHARING EVER AGAIN.

Another day. Another opportunity to share with someone.
Remembers last experience BUT Mommy says I have to share.
Me: "HELL NO." Everyone says I'm mean because I don't share.

It's like touching a stove, getting burned, and people thinking you're a chicken because you're not up to touch the stove with them. Nobody understands.

History Games

Seventh grade history. Group project to create a board game.
Nobody has any plan or does anything.
I do entire project alone.
They still get credit.
WHAT THE HECK I'M NEVER DOING A GROUP PROJECT EVER AGAIN.

What are you, stupid?

{red-eye flashes twice}

Class. Group essays.
Teacher grades first draft.
Based on previous experience, I know to do the majority of the writing, but everyone contributes.
Time for revisions.
Group member VOLUNTEERS to revise.
I let my guard down and decide to be NICE.
He revises. I trust him... apparently too much.
He sends the EXACT SAME PAPER WITH NO REVISIONS.
Can I die? Who the...? What the...?
WHY THE HELL WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT?
As if they think nobody will notice.
This is a grown man. Far older than me.
Yet I'm either less lazy or just plain smarter than him.

WHAT THE HECK I'M NEVER GOING TO TRY AND CHANGE MY WAYS AGAIN...
Story One and Two happened to teach me a lesson and prevent shit like Story Three.

I'm too angry to write full sentences let alone make pretty colors.

I feel Grrrrrrrr

Here is a shaved bear:

I'll Tell You Something...

I am tired of holding back, people!

Each time I want to speak my mind I get far too nervous to actually come out with the words.
If I do, then I always LOSE to certain people. Red face, hot neck, uncomfortable situation all over.

I'm not letting my fear of reactions hold me back any longer. I will be respectful, always, but I will not let others opinions or ideas be more important than mine.

I am smart and I count. Therefore my ideas count too.

So be prepared because I am done zipping my lips.

Dis [appointment]

It honestly sucks when people lie to you.

It hurts when the lie comes from a friend.

Even worse a close friend.

Yes, I caught a close friend in a lie.

A big fat lie.

Important things to know:

Does this lie affect my life personally?
No, it doesn't change a thing.

Do I care about her lying to other people?
Yes, but it's not really my business.

If she had told me the truth, would I have been upset with her?
No, only disappointed.
Less disappointed than I was when I found out she lied to me.

Would I have told others the truth and gotten her in trouble?
No, I don't break trust unless someone is endangering themself.

Would I still be helping her today had I known the truth?
Well... I never turn my back on a friend.

I gave her a second chance to come clean...

... and she lied again, straight to my face.

I know she lies, but she didn't have to do it to me.

Lent-il Soup

Oh well hey there!
Nope, I'm not dead
*thumbs up*
I'm vive-ing and kickin' and going along with my daily routine.

A lot has changed since I last posted.
And I mean a LOT.

I have far too many drafts that are unfinished or cowering in fear.
I'm going to delete them ALL.
Start fresh.
Blank slate.

As all things happen to be, my return is ironic.
I've returned to say so long for a bit.

I know I haven't been here, but I have been on the www
Too much actually.

Using lent as my excuse, I'm cutting back my internet usage.
While I don't need to give strangers (nor friends) my rules to this, I'll share a bit.

I'll still be tweeting, but hardly/ reading tweets.
I'll still be using Facebook for photos or conversing, but no bored scrolling.
Tumblr is completely forbidden.
And definitely no getting sucked into Youtube's dark hole.
Oneword will never be taken away from me, so you can forget about that one.

I'm attempting to cut my reliance down.
After the forty days I will return, but hopefully have less of a presence.

I hope to reconnect to things that are important to me.
Have interactions In Real Life.
Put more emphasis on schoolwork.

The internet will no longer be my weakness.
After this, I will use its powers for good.

Signing Off,

Literally.

Edit: The same day I wrote this post, I failed... 

I randomly scrolled through Facebook and watched sad proposal rejections and pranks on Youtube.